Monthly Archives: May 2008

Practicing in Dating What You Know to Be True

by Pastor Patrick Cho

A few weeks ago I had a chance to speak during the DTR series about “Breaking Up to the Glory of God.” In the introduction to that message I made some comments about the importance of developing a solid theology of dating and I wanted to elaborate on those thoughts. The basic idea is that even Christians with a good understanding of theology oftentimes do not put their beliefs into practice when it comes to dating. Although they might profess to believe in particular aspects of biblical theology, they live as though they don’t. James exhorts believers not to be mere hearers of the Word, but doers also (James 1:22). In particular, it isn’t enough to have a correct understanding of God and His Word if you are not willing to allow your beliefs to affect your thinking.

Here are some examples of how I have witnessed people doing this (and how I have done this as well!)…

The Glory of God. When it comes to the glory of God, every good Christian knows what Paul teaches in 1 Corinthians 10:31. Everything you do, regardless of how mundane, is supposed to be for the glory of God. The glory of God is really supposed to be the ultimate motivation behind everything a person does because God is worthy of all glory and honor and praise. When you seek to enter into a dating relationship, it becomes tempting to have personal desires take precedence over God’s will. You may seek to live for personal satisfaction rather than the glory of God, and that which should take ultimate priority takes a back seat. When you do not get what you want, you have sinful attitudes of doubting and complaining. This manifests that you do not seek God’s glory as much as you ought.

The Sovereignty of God. Psalm 103:19 states, “The LORD has established His throne in the heavens, and His sovereignty rules over all.” You may have come to the conviction that God is sovereign over all things. The Bible even teaches that God is sovereign over a person’s salvation (Eph. 1:5), and many Christians are happy to accept this because they know that they would never have sought after God if He had not have first chosen them. When it comes to dating, though, practically you may exhibit a lack of trust in the sovereignty of God. Questions may flood into your mind like, “What if I don’t act soon enough?” or “What if he/she starts dating someone else?” All of a sudden, because you are gripped with getting what you want, you abandon your belief in the sovereignty of God and try to manipulate and control circumstances on your own. You must act because you doubt that the Lord will act on your behalf. You doubt that God is in control and so you take matters into your own hands.

The Goodness of God. James tells us that every good thing and every perfect gift is from our heavenly Father (James 1:17). Why is it that in the context of dating you tend to question God’s goodness so much? When things don’t go your way, you question whether God is good. “Why would God give me such longings only to not let me have what I want?” Ultimately, this is the wrong question to ask. The correct question is, “Why aren’t my desires in line with God’s desires for my life?” God is a good God, but somehow you may be tempted to doubt this if you do not end up with the person you had hoped for.

The Wisdom of God. Perhaps you are sure that a certain guy or gal is the one for you. When that person does not feel the same way as you, do you question whether God knows what He is doing? Perhaps you need to meditate on Romans 11:33-36 and the awesome wisdom of God. You ought not to act as though God is mistaken. He is infinitely wise and knows how to govern your life in the best way.

The Omniscience and Omnipresence of God. If you find yourself in the context of dating, and you have a clear understanding that God is always there and always watching, you would be less susceptible to sexual sin. Solomon says to his son in the context of warning him against sexual sin, “For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the LORD, And He watches all his paths” (Prov. 5:21). Do you live as though God is always there and that He is always watching? Psalm 139:1-12 speaks about God’s amazing omnipresence and omniscience, but in a dating context you may live as though you think God is blind or absent.

The Sufficiency of Scripture. When it comes to the theology of the Bible, many would argue that the Bible doesn’t say anything about dating. I know what these people mean, that one will not find the idea of dating in any Bible concordance and that there is no chapter and verse on dating in particular. My greatest question in response, though, is if the Bible gives no wisdom about dating, where do you turn for that wisdom? 2 Timothy 3:16-17 and Psalm 19:7-11 speak of the sufficiency of the Word of God. In it we find the instructions for life and God’s requirements of us. It is the standard of truth that all other worldly wisdom must answer to. If the Bible says nothing about dating, giving no principles to help those in a dating context, then how can a person know how he or she is supposed to date? Would you rather turn to Oprah, movies, or your friends? Where are you going to get the guidance that is necessary to pursue a dating relationship that honors God if not from the Bible?

The Authority of Scripture. Even after a person seeks the Scriptures for principles that are applicable in a dating context, they do not always abide by them. When you act against clear principles from God’s Word, you manifest a distrust in the authority of Scripture. You would rather turn to another authority and reason for yourself what is right or wrong. The nation of Israel was guilty of this and fell into moral ruin. God says the reason why they did this was because, “In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes” (Judges 21:25). So often we think it is wise to act on what our hearts tell us. We think God is giving us peace about our decisions because we feel good about them. But the Bible says that our hearts are deceitful and sick (Jer. 17:9). Because of our sinfulness, our minds have been tainted by sin (cf. Gen. 6:5; Rom. 1:21-22). It is because of sin’s impact on the mind that our hearts are not the best determiner of what is sound. We need to seek the authority of God’s Word because without it we are like people in the dark with no light to lead us (Ps. 119:105).

These are just a few examples of how we demonstrate the weakness of our theology in the context of dating and relationships. We would be wise to be more consistent. It is not enough to have a load of head knowledge about God and His Word if you are not willing to live as though you believe it. God is not out to kill your fun. He desires the best for you. When you trust in His character, even when things do not go your way, you can hope that He has a better plan in store for you. Practicing good theology is vital to surviving the “dating game”! I cannot imagine how I would have survived all the anxiety, rejection, and loneliness if I did not have the sound principles and teaching from God’s Word. It is not that I practiced everything perfectly either. As one of my seminary professors said, “Dating is a cruel, hard game… but we must all play that game.” What better way to tackle one of the most significant decisions in your life than to seek God’s Word for wisdom and guidance?

Jonathan Edwards Resolution #48

by Pastor John Kim

Greetings to the LBC family and friends!

Jonathan Edwards Resolution #48
Resolved, constantly, with the utmost niceness and diligence, and the strictest scrutiny, to be looking into the state of my soul, that I may know whether I have truly an interest in Christ or not; that when I come to die, I may not have any negligence respecting this to repent of. (May 26, 1723)

To “have truly an interest in Christ” – this is something that cuts to the heart of all that we do. I find it to be sad at times that those who would say they are Christians, particularly in the Lighthouse family, who would do things that really do not have the interests of Christ at stake but their own interests, especially in relation to how they treat other people. But it is more than an issue of external behavior or how one might interact with someone. Someone might even appear to be supportive and helpful, all the while harboring resentment, bitterness, a critical spirit that does not have the interests of Christ reflecting the state of their soul.

Edwards often puts death into his perspective regarding many of these resolutions and we see that his goal was that he would not have anything to repent of in neglecting the importance of pursuing the interests of Christ. We will all too quickly find ourselves at the end of our lives and be faced with the daunting task of evaluating our life’s work and to see what we have accumulated in light of eternity. Gone will be the material desires as they no longer will be relevant once we die. Most people will look to how they will have lived in light of what was truly meaningful and as Christians, I think there are essentially two things that will show whether we have shown an interest in Christ or not.

The first would be our love for God. Matthew 22:37-40 dictates that we love God with our entire being. Anything less would show a disinterest as God is not worthy of anything less. Not that we will do it perfectly but is the heart passion truly there? The second thing that would show whether we have an interest in Christ is how we love people. It seems like some people really don’t exhibit any kind of care or compassion toward people, whether Christian or not. There is something to be said about people being deliberate and purposefuly in showing genuine Christian love toward people.

Edwards uses three thoughts in how he would assess his soul. First, to exercise the “utmost niceness” – I’m not sure if there is something that he understood niceness to be that would be different from today, but I would venture to say that when people get involved with self-reflection and evaluation that they can sometimes become very mean in how they think, not only toward themselves but in also how they end up judging others. I don’t think this means you are trying to purposely be easy on yourself but it really is a reflection of the heart attitude. What is the point of self-reflection if you are only going to be condemning? The point isn’t to condemn but to confess and repent and to learn.

The second thought would be diligence. To confront one’s own soul is not an easy task as we often do not want to face the reality of where we are spiritually. There are some Christians who would acknowledge that they are lazy and apathetic when it comes to their faith but they don’t really want accountability or to expend the energy to really address their struggles. We must be diligent and as Edwards says have no negligence when it comes to really pursuing our interest in Christ. To lack diligence would only seem to mean an increase in negligence and there is no good end in sight when one is negligent about the state of their soul.

The third thought would be that of strict scrutiny. To be specific and particular about addressing the things that would keep our eyes off of Christ. Hebrews 12:1-3 talks about the sin that entangles and the encumbrances that would distract us from running with endurance the race that is set before us. It is no surprise to see the extent of the 70 resolutions that Edwards wrote as it shows that he wanted to exercise strict scrutiny over his spiritual life before God.

We need to get off our comfy chairs and really take the Christian life seriously. Are you even remotely interested in Christ? Can others tell? Or is the primary interest in your life Jesus Christ and can people really tell? Take that to heart this week as you do all that you do.

In His grace,
Pastor John

Jonathan Edwards Resolution #47

by Pastor John Kim

Jonathan Edwards Resolution #47
Resolved, to endeavor, to my utmost, to deny whatever is not most agreeable to a good, and universally sweet and benevolent, quiet, peaceable, contented and easy, compassionate and generous, humble and meek, submissive and obliging, diligent and industrious, charitable and even, patient, moderate, forgiving and sincere temper; and to do at all times, what such a temper would lead me to; and to examine strictly, at the end of every week, whether I have done so. (Sabbath morning. May 5, 1723)

How is your temper? Have you lost it lately? What does it mean to lose your temper? I think for many people, the issue is not so much about losing your temper but about choosing what kind of temper you will exercise. Your temper is not a passive entity that is subject to the whims and winds of circumstances. You actually can choose how you will respond to the trials and challenges of life. But this can only happen when the Holy Spirit has filled you and is the source from which you are able to exercise the kind of temper that would truly glorify and magnfiy Christ.

When I first read this sentence by Edwards, I had to start laughing because of how many adjectives he uses to describe the kind of temper that he would try to cultivate. Here are some thoughts that seem to come out of this resolution:

1. He is resolved to deny what is NOT agreeable to this kind of temper. In other words Edwards is wanting to really do everything he can, “to my utmost,” to make sure that he is not contradicting in any way the kind of temper that he desires to exercise.

2. He is resolved “to do at all times, what such a temper would lead me to” – his actions are to reflect the kind of temper that he is seeking to exercise.

3. He is holding himself accountable at the end of each week to see how he has done. This is just some kind of one time attempt. He really is seeking to establish this as a discipline in to his life.

4. The list is quite extensive here in how comprehensive his temper should be exercised:

  • Good – pretty straight forward – GOOD temper versus a BAD temper
  • Universally sweet – could this be the extent to which this kind of temper would reach and would “sweet” be preferred to “sour”?
  • Quiet – as opposed to loud?
  • Peaceable – as opposed to being quarrelsome, pugnacious, given to instigating conflict
  • Contented – someone who is not always grasping for more or envious toward others
  • Easy – not so complicated and difficult to deal with
  • Compassionate – a genuine love and care for others
  • Generous – a servant’s heart to give and to serve, not with a tight-fisted attitude but one that is willing to give in an overflowing kind of way
  • Humble – not boastful and seeking self-recognition
  • Meek – exercising self-control and is not given to seeking self-glory
  • Submissive – willing to follow and be subject to authority with a sincere heart
  • Obliging – considerate and willing to think of others
  • Diligent – hard-working and not taking the easy route
  • Industrious – someone who makes the most of a situation, who works creatively for a good purpose
  • Charitable – loving, gracious, willing to give graciously
  • Even – balanced, not easily pushed over
  • Patient – longsuffering, willing to bear other’s burdens
  • Moderate – not given to extreme emotional displays that reflect a measure of lacking self-control
  • Forgiving – the willingness to show grace and mercy even in light of being wronged
  • Sincere – as opposed to being hypocritical, fake, or insincere in how they would present themselves

I suppose that I could have gone into more detail for each character quality – I’ll let you meditate on these thoughts and see if you could come up with more. But suffice it to say that there are many who would struggle with having the kind of temper that truly honors God. Too many Christians are short-tempered and easily given over to fits of anger and rage or despair or disconsolation that it does disservice to the truth that we have an all-powerful God who resides within us through the Holy Spirit to enable us to shine the light of the glory of Christ through our lives, particularly in how we respond to the circumstances of life. That’s why James 1:2 says that we should consider it all joy WHEN we encounter various trials, not IF we encounter various trials. We will face difficulties that will test our faith but our temper should not be swayed by them in the same way as those who do not have Christ as Lord and Savior.

Think about that the next time you “lose” your temper. It’s not that you lost it but rather that you chose to quit denyinig that which is agreeable to the kind of Christ-centered, Holy Spirit-filled, God-exalting temper that reflects the kind of redeemed heart that has been saved by the grace and mercy of God in Christ.

Let that keep your tempers in check =)

In His grace,
Pastor John

Match Day Interview – Andrew Ho

by Jen Shin

How were you feeling prior to Match Day?

We were more excited, that it was finally happening, so we’d know where to go. We were praying that we would stay but at the same time, we knew there was a chance of going to LA because I put it as my second choice. We just prayed that God would be sovereign and that we’d trust in wherever we ended up. The day of, I guess the same. Things were crazy during that time. We just had Ethan at the time, too. We were excited.

What was your reaction when you opened the envelope?

I was happy and I think Tiff was ok. We weren’t so excited but we were still excited to be able to go back to LA. We knew that if we were to go back to LA, we could still go back to Grace [Community Church] or IBC. And all our college friends are still in LA. We were sad that we weren’t all staying. If we wanted to stay, we could’ve put San Diego programs as two and three. But we prayed about it and felt like Cedars [UCLA] would be a good fit for us…to be back in LA…and it’s good for fellowship placement for gastroenterology, which I’m thinking about doing.

Sorry, for what?

For gastroenterology. GI. It’s three years of internal medicine and then three years of fellowship. We love Lighthouse, but at the same time, we’re excited to try either IBC or Grace. We thought there was no church better than Grace Church coming out from college. And then we came to Lighthouse… and we love Lighthouse. Eventually we want to come back. Before med school, these days would’ve been bigger for me. But now it’s like, God’s just going to bring us wherever. We’re going to have days like these, special days. Like when Ethan was born, that was a special day. Now it’s like ok, wherever you want us to go. We don’t want being a doctor or being part of a doctor’s family to define us. It’s just another part of a job.

Anything else you want to say to the church family?

[Sees Pastor John walking by] Thank you, Pastor John. [laughs]. Well, we just want to praise God for the past five years we’ve been here. We’ve really grown to love the church. We learned the importance of the church and membership. We’ve enjoyed being in fellowship, serving with everyone. And we’re excited to see what the church will look like in three to six years. The Ho Family will be moving the first week of June. Let’s use the time that we have with them to encourage them.

Match Day Interview – Alex Ko

by Moon Choi

Before Alex found out that he was going to be an internal medicine intern “cheerfully working at the luxurious Scripps Green Hospital” in La Jolla, he admitted to being more nervous that he had hoped to be because he did not want to his friends and family to feel disappointed “by this tangible manifestation of God’s glorious sovereignty over my life.” Though he ranked all of the residency programs for San Diego at the top of his list, he had come to accept months ago that he could end up somewhere other than San Diego. God had sovereignly led him to San Diego for medical school and landed him at Lighthouse; Alex knew that God would continue to be faithful, wherever he went.

Alex was one of the last guys to open his envelope. He had expected to be elated but rather, when he read “San Diego, CA,” he felt oddly subdued. Since he had already excepted that he may be going somewhere else for his residency, he had somewhat convinced himself that it would be good and likely for him to go elsewhere, “braving the crazy world outside, meeting exotic new people, living in yet another bachelor mega-pad.” The feeling of disappointment at missing out on an opportunity for another great adventure did not last long. Alex said that it was foolish thinking and that “I am 110% thrilled to stay” as Lighthouse is his “home away from heaven.”

Alex asks if we could pray that he would be a bold witness to patients and coworkers and that God would continue to replace his fear of man with “the overwhelming desire to magnify His worth in all circumstances without compromise.” He also asks us to keep him accountable to not settling for spiritual complacency as the demands of his career increase. He also add d, “Thanks! I look forward to finally answering your medical questions (give me a couple years).”

Match Day Interview – Ted Su

by Moon Choi

Ted Su was in complete shock when he found out that he got admitted to Scripps Chula Vista. From a human perspective, it did not seem likely that he would get into such a competitive program but ended up giving all praise to God, saying, “… but I guess that’s why as Christians we are called to walk by faith, and not simply by our severely limited sight and reason.” He was the first to open his envelope in front of the other med school guys, Pastor John and Angela, and friends as they stood in a circle. Though he admitted to feeling pressured as the first one to reveal the location of his residency, he had gone into match day with a peace that came with the understanding that that the result was “simply a revealing of God’s sovereign will.” He pointed to applying for residency as yet another opportunity that God took to teach Ted more about Himself, as He had done when Ted was applying for college and to medical school. With having to endure more application processes than the average person would encounter, he said that he had been “growing in confidence in His sovereignty and learning to be content with whatever the result.” Ted referenced Philippians 4:6-7 when saying that he was at peace throughout the process by God’s grace.

What was initially shock soon gave way to praise and thanksgiving to God. Relief soon followed, with Ted knowing that he could finally make concrete plans and with the knowledge that he can continue to grow and serve at Lighthouse.

Ted ended with saying, “Thank you everyone at Lighthouse for your continued support and prayers. I look forward to continuing to labor with you for His kingdom here in San Diego, and wherever He might lead us.”

Match Day Interview – Kevin Tse

by Jen Shin

How were you feeling leading up to it?

I think once I decided to rank San Diego first, second, and third, I didn’t think about it too much, I wasn’t that worried, until about a week before and then Mabel reminded me that it was coming up in a week. I think that’s when I was thinking, “Ok, it’s important.” It dawned on me that we might be praying on our own but we haven’t been praying together. So the week leading up to it we prayed together. We tried to pray specifically and boldly. We prayed specifically for San Diego, being open to wherever God would take us to. I felt a conviction to be specific, knowing that God can do anything and so why not pray for the miraculous. So we prayed for the miraculous. And if it wasn’t going to happen that’s ok – we were ready to go. That put me at ease for that week. Right when we were about to open the envelopes, though, we were all a little hesitant. Because the longer we didn’t know, the longer we go to stay here. But eventually we opened it. Ted got all of them and gave it to each of us, we were sitting in a big circle. No one would go – no one would open it. We were one of the last to open it. I was last. That was a little scary. Pastor John was there, and we prayed before we opened [the envelopes].

What was your reaction when you found out you were staying?

Mabel and I were really happy, for a lot of reasons, mostly to stay near church. Also, her family’s here, her job’s here, our comfort zone is here. Again, we were ready to go somewhere else, if God wanted us to go somewhere else, not clinging onto our comfort zone, just knowing this is a place where we can be safe and learn and grow. Plus if I was a first year resident trying to get plugged into a church, it would be hard, attendance would be hard for me. It was good to stay in a place where we were already plugged in.

So, which hospital are you placed at?

Scripps Mercy, the one in Hillcrest across from the UCSD Hospital.

And you’re going into internal medicine?

It’s adult medicine – not pediatrics, not family medicine. Subspecialties are like cardiology, pulmonary, and GI. I’d like to thank the church, they were praying for us. Various ministries were praying for us. It’s a blessing to be with our church.

Match Day Interview – Jeff Lee

by Jen Shin

Soon after coming to Lighthouse Bible Church in 2006, Jeff plunged into the heart of the church family. Jocelyn came not too long after Jeff and they both started serving in various capacities and getting married during that time. You might remember seeing Jeff’s cheerful face waving you into the parking lot or both Jeff and Jocelyn serving as a part of the single staff as small group leaders. After having taken a year off of medical school to invest in the church body and in their new marriage, this year Jeff and Jocelyn had to face the big event that all med students eventually have to face: Match Day!

The Beacon was able to catch up to Jeff and Jocelyn while they were on their vacation in Paris before their baby arrives! They were kind enough to give their brief thoughts on Match Day while relaxing in Europe.

How did you feel throughout the process?

Actually, Jocelyn and I were at peace with wherever we would end up, because we trusted in God’s sovereignty throughout the entire process. We knew that if we matched somewhere other than San Diego that it was for a good purpose.

Where will you be next year?

UCSD Internal Medicine

What was your reaction?

We were really happy that we matched in San Diego, because we definitely didn’t expect it.

What are some things you learned throughout the process?

I learned that worrying about where I would end up was wasting my time, because God knew and had a perfect place for Jocelyn and I. I also learned to be more thankful for God’s provision and LBC.

What were some challenges/blessings that you faced?

On the day that I was supposed to submit my rank list, I procrastinated to the very last second and realized that my rank list was not submitted in time. I tried calling the company to explain that I accidentally missed the deadline but they were closed that night. However, the next morning I was able to reach someone who graciously said they would process my rank list.

How were things different because you are married from the other med students?

I had to consider the interests of my wife as well as places where we could raise a family. We also applied to places where we knew of good churches like LBC, but of course, nothing beats Lighthouse!

Any prayer requests?

That we would remain thankful for allowing us to stay in San Diego and that we would continue to trust in Him during these challenging years of residency.

Book Review: The Reason for God

Book by Tim Keller

Review by Tim Sohn

I first heard Tim Keller speak three years ago expounding on the Gospel to an audience of both believers and non-believers. Never had I heard someone masterfully preach about Jesus in a way that drew the non-believer in to see the beauty of God’s redemptive story, while at the same time challenging the believer to relinquish idols that are at the root of every sin. He repeatedly pointed his audience to the Gospel, drawing them out of themselves to sit in worship of Jesus’ work on the cross. Yet, he did this in an amazingly respectful way that was applicable to both skeptics and believers alike.

Keller’s recent book The Reason for God carries many of the same characteristics as his sermons; eloquent, respectful, thoughtful, and humble. This book comes at an appropriate time in response to some of the recent writings of new atheist authors such as Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, and Sam Harris. Keller starts by addressing seven of the most common objections to Christianity:

  • There Can’t Be Just One True Religion
  • How Could a Good God Allow Suffering?
  • Christianity Is a Straitjacket
  • The Church Is Responsible for So Much Injustice
  • How Can a Loving God Send People to Hell?
  • Science Has Disproved Christianity
  • You Can’t Take the Bible Literally

In the second half of the book, Keller takes an in depth look at seven reasons for Christianity. The uniqueness of The Reason for God is that many of the arguments made are applicable to our culture today. They are the same questions and objections that we hear at work over lunch, or in the classroom by our professors. The believer will be encouraged by this book as they will find that their faith is not blind, but is on that begs cerebral discourse.

New Building Dedication Service

Written by Grace Wu

April 6, 2008 went down in Lighthouse history as we had the Building Dedication Service to thank God for His provision in moving into our new building, as well as reunite with members, new and old for a celebration of where God has directed Lighthouse in the past 9 years.

During the morning service, the Snider family joined Lighthouse for worship. It began with Pam Snider playing the piano, followed by Dr. Andy Snider and two of his daughters singing together. Dr. Andy Snider then preached a message called, “The Key Ingredients of the Gospel.”

That evening during the actual Building Dedication Service there were even more visitors. Pastor Chris Mueller, who spoke at Lighthouse’s inaugural service in 1999, was the special guest again to help Lighthouse usher in a new beginning. Pastor Mueller’s message was titled, “How to Pick a Church,” which explained how one can know that Christ and Christ alone is the head of a church. The evening was an encouragement to Lighthouse as it was an affirmation of our ministry, but also a reminder to not lose our focus as the church grows larger.