by Pastor Patrick Cho

Last time I wrote about how I was reminded of the important principle that discipleship is life on life. It is not reduced to a program in the church, but instead, every time you interact with someone else it becomes an opportunity to help them in the faith. Even in your casual conversations, you can encourage, teach, help, or counsel others. It is just a matter of whether you choose to take advantage of those opportunities or not.

Since then I have had a few conversations with different people about how difficult it is to make the commitment to someone else to walk through trials with them. This reminded me of another principle regarding discipleship that is just as important to remember: discipleship is love. Paul writes in Galatians 6:2, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” The idea behind the word “burden” is weight. When someone else has a great load to carry, it makes it much easier when another comes to help bear it. This is part of how we fulfill Christ’s command to love one another. But this is hard, and it requires a commitment of love. It is telling your brother or sister, “It doesn’t matter how deep of a pit you are in. We will climb out together no matter how long it takes.”

This principle is also expressed in 1 Thessalonians 5:14 where Paul writes, “And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.” The idea behind the word “help” is literally to tie yourself to another. It is like when a tree is too frail to straighten on its own and so you tie it to a stake for support. To help a brother or sister is to tie yourself to them until they have the strength to stand.

Sometimes growth is slow and so it requires time. Often other’s trials require patient and wise counseling from the Word. It is rarely easy. People are too often slow learners and growth can be painfully slow. This is why it is tremendously loving to say, “I will walk with you. We’ll do this together.” Discipleship is love.

Now here’s the thing for the believer: love is not an option. Christ does not leave it to us to decide whether we will love others or not. It is commanded of all believers that we commit to one another in love, just as Christ has loved us. If you are in Christ, you should be seeking out opportunities to love in this way. This is that agape love that serves others (cf. 1 Cor. 13:4-7) and is more than just a feeling or a thought (cf. 1 John 3:18). If we at LBC are going to pursue being a loving church, we need to make these kinds of commitments to one another in love.

by Pastor Patrick Cho

I recently attended the Men Discipling Men Conference at The Master’s College and it was a tremendous blessing. The speakers delivered really good messages, the seminars were challenging and helpful for ministry, and the fellowship with the Lighthouse guys who went was refreshing. But one of the most memorable moments of the weekend actually wasn’t at the conference but at our host home.

We had a chance to stay with one of the elders from Immanuel Bible Church and his family. This wasn’t anything new since they are gracious to host our guys for the MDM Conference and Shepherds’ Conferences every year. Most years, they have even tried to invite all the guys from LBC over for a late night meal! They truly are a wonderfully hospitable family. As good as the chili spaghetti was this year, my highlight was when Andrew (that elder from IBC) invited all of us to share about how we had been learning and growing recently.

Up until this point in the evening, we were all enjoying random conversations with each other. Some of them were very profitable and spiritual; others were less. We were all just sitting around enjoying really good food, but Andrew took the initiative to bring us together and have a time of mutual encouragement and edification.

This reminded me of a helpful principle that is often neglected in the church: Discipleship is life. Discipleship is not just when one person decides to meet up with another person on a weekly basis to share prayer requests and have a time of accountability. We should not limit discipleship to a program. Discipleship can and should happen whenever two believers come together, because discipleship is life on life ministry.

Marriage is discipleship. Parenting is discipleship. Friendship is discipleship. Even sitting around a living room with a group of conference attendees eating chili spaghetti can be discipleship. It all comes down to whether we choose to make the most of the opportunity or not. Unfortunately, most of the time, we allow the opportunities to pass us by. Instead of making use of a chance to encourage someone, pray for them, teach them, or witness to them, we choose instead to talk about things that are not profitable or spiritual.

In this sense, you don’t need to go about looking to form a “discipleship relationship.” If you have relationships with fellow believers, you can be a blessing to them just as they can be to you. Say an encouraging word, share what you have been reading in Scripture, ask for or offer prayer support, or just bring everyone together to share how they have been growing or what they have been learning. Discipleship is life and we should never forget this.

by Pastor Patrick Cho

The leaders at Lighthouse have always seen the importance of having a college ministry so that the collegians could be involved in the life of the church and maintain their identity as college students. One of the goals of College Life has been to establish an on-campus presence so that the gospel could be more effectively preached to other students and faculty. In the past twelve years at LBC, the collegians have always added refreshing excitement and youthful zeal to the life of the church. It has been a great joy seeing collegians that love the Lord and want to grow in their knowledge of Him. Many of these collegians maximized their efforts to make use of every opportunity to be equipped and trained in the faith. This is why it has been such a great privilege and joy shepherding the college ministry all these years.

One of the transitions at Lighthouse with the upcoming church plant is that I will be stepping out of college ministry. It was a great privilege being able to serve as the college pastor for the past ten years. Some of my best memories have come from the context of College Life. Back in 2005, we had a car rally event with a Harry Potter theme. I’ll never forget having the collegians drive all around town looking for the “Golden Snitch” (a.k.a. Beverly Chan, nee Kang) while “bludgers” (a.k.a. College Life staff) hunted them down to steal away their points. A year later, we had another car rally, but this time with the theme of Pirates of the Caribbean, where the collegians needed to unearth a buried treasure somewhere in San Diego by deciphering cryptic clues. Some complained that it was too difficult and even tried to head home early in defeat, but the winning team naturally boasted that the difficulty level was just right.

The retreats for College Life have also been a huge highlight. In 2004, we actually took the entire college group up to Fresno. Virl Tait, who was a good friend from seminary, graciously agreed to come along with us to be our retreat speaker. He covered the theme of “What’s Your Direction?” and discussed the importance of living a life of purpose. During this trip, we tried to visit Yosemite, but came to find that the roads were closed due to the snow. Still it was a great trip and a wonderful time having the staff and collegians all in Fresno. Throughout the years, we have been fortunate to have some really great speakers for our retreats. In 2005, we had Pastor Nam Park from Immanuel Bible Church. In 2008, Pastor Peter Kim from Berean Community Church was our speaker. And 2009 was memorable because Pastor Chris Mueller came and addressed the topic of dating.

In all the years of College Life, I was only able to teach through two books of the Bible (and didn’t complete either of them!). I started off teaching through 1 Corinthians with the collegians, and this was a hugely helpful study. But this eventually became a Sunday morning series because I felt as though the church in general could benefit from the lessons within. This led me to start a series in the book of Mark. Studying the life of Christ is always going to be a great blessing, and certainly it was wonderful opening Mark with the collegians. But unfortunately, since I’ll be stepping out of College Life, we won’t be able to finish. This is going to become a GraceLife study instead, and I’m hoping to actually make it to the end with the married couples and parents. It is the shortest of the Gospels after all!

As I am thankful for all the collegians and the wonderful memories we have had together, I am also very thankful for the staff I’ve been able to work with. Some of them have been serving in college ministry for a long time. We’ve seen collegian student staff become senior staff members, we’ve seen single adult staff get married, and we’ve seen married couples on staff have children. It really has been a remarkable journey together. I know it isn’t like everything is coming to a close. We’re still serving in the same church and will still enjoy great fellowship and ministry together. But I wanted to appreciate the staff for all the hard work, dedication, and love they have shown in College Life. As I step out, they will continue the work on the campuses and I have all the confidence in the world that they’ll do a fantastic job!

If there was one message that I tried to consistently convey to the collegians, it’s to not be collegians. I know it sounds unfair, but it is a valuable lesson to learn. The message is simple. Don’t use your collegian status as an excuse to be immature and irresponsible. The typical collegian is undependable, lazy, a time waster, silly, etc. Biblically, there is no warrant for it. The Bible doesn’t tell us that while we are students we can live foolish lives. Actually, the Bible treats college-aged individuals as adults, so my exhortation to the collegians has been and will continue to be: Be adult in your thinking, living, and speech. Again, I know it doesn’t sound fair, but don’t be “collegians” even though you are in college. All around you, you will see collegians acting like collegians. You ought not to do the same.

This is the stage in life where you will be making some of the most important decisions in your life. It is therefore vital that you make those decisions from a position of spiritual strength. I know what a blessing your college years can be. They are some of the best years of your life. Make sure your main purpose and goal will be to come away from college having grown closer to the Lord than ever before, deeper in your devotion, having sweeter times in the Word and in prayer, and having enjoyed God-honoring, encouraging, soul-satisfying, biblical fellowship with your brothers and sisters in Christ. This will make your years in college memorable in a way that truly matters.

by Pastor John Kim

To my dear Lighthouse family,

I truly thank God in my every remembrance of you (Philippians 1:3) and it truly is because we share in the work of the gospel ministry. These past twelve years in San Diego have been such a blessing as God has introduced new brothers and sisters in Christ to join our church family. Through all the joys and even trials, God has used you all to encourage me, challenge me, sharpen me, stretch me, and point me to trust in God more and more. I have to admit that there have been so many times where I really felt like I could not go on and wanted to quit but God provided timely encouragements that would help me refocus my heart and my mind on the Savior. There have been times when things were difficult and even some heartaches but overall God has shown Himself to be faithful and has not only sustained our church family but has increased our tribe to share in the work of the Kingdom. So I want to just give some specific words of encouragement to the different affinity groups in hopes that you will all know my heart for you.

To Grace Life

Thank you for being joint heirs in the grace of life as we have shared the growing of our families over the years. Thank you for your partnership in the ministry as well as allowing me the privilege of being a part of your families. It was a joy to be a part of seeing many of you get engaged, go through premarital, and have the honor of officiating at your weddings. Seeing the birth and growth of many of your children has been one of the biggest blessings and I have been blessed to enjoy their greetings and smiles. Please continue to pursue the Savior with all your heart, soul, and mind and pass on the greatest of God to the next generation, not only to your own children, but even to the rest of the church family that God has brought to us.

To Single Life

These past few years have been a wonderful experience in shepherding you through the challenges of the single life. I have marveled at how God has transformed many of you to not fall to the status quo of the pursuit of the comfortable life but have seen you embrace the way of the cross and seek to grow and seek first God’s kingdom. This past year during our Friday Night Light Bible studies has shown a progressively growing trajectory in becoming more Christ-centered and Biblically thinking in addressing life issues and I have been given so many reasons to rejoice. I pray that you will continue to strive in your relationship with Christ, that you would mature and deepen in your walks with God. I will be praying that you truly love one another as brothers and sisters in Christ and that one day it would lead to marriages that will reflect the majesty and glory of Christ.

To College Life

This past year was probably the most encouraging year for me to observe the collegians at our church. To see the efforts that so many of you made to show your commitment to Christ, to the church, and even to one another was really incredible to behold. I was amazed to see how many freshmen not only stayed throughout the year, but even became members and participated in the life of the church. There are so many colorful characters and personalities that have also been added by the SDSU bunch and I can’t be more thrilled to know that there is a great future ahead because of all of you. I pray that you grow in grace, that you would seek godly counsel and discipling to prepare you to do the same for those who are following you. Keep bringing the enthusiasm and energy!

To the Youth of Lumos

There will always be a special place in my heart for youth as I was involved in youth ministry for over 15 years and since Jenna and Kara were in the youth ministry these past few years, there was always a sense where I was vitally interested in what was going on. The past couple of years has been awesome to see how the staff and stuff have worked together to bring a spark and verve to the church through your eagerness to grow and learn God’s Word as well as be a light to the community. I hope that the momentum will not stop but will continue to move forward and reach out to the young people in San Diego and set God-glorifying goals for your future.

To the Children of Sonlight, Sparklers, and Fireflies

It is such a wonder to see all of you, many of you from birth and now to see you grow up – it truly is one of God’s greatest blessings to me to be your pastor. Not to play favorites (but I guess I am), but to hear a little “Pastor John!” calling me in the hallway was one of the things I looked forward to each Sunday. I hope and pray that you will come to truly understand the gospel and repent of your sins and confess Christ as your Lord and Savior at an early age so that you might give the best years of your life in service to Him. For those of you blessed with parents who really love Jesus more than you, they will show you what it means not to just live a comfortable life but a consecrated life to God, just like Romans 12:1-2 says. Remember “first time obedience” from the heart and honor your parents in the way you would want to honor Jesus. I hope you won’t forget me!!

To the Lighthouse Family

Thank you for being my church family. It truly has felt like a family because you have become such a dear part of our family’s life over the past decade. So many of you invested in our children’s lives from nursery to preschool to elementary and to youth. Many of you have come alongside us in our joys and sorrows. Your generosity has reminded us of the grace of God time and time again and I marvel that God would pour out such abundant grace to an undeserving pastor. You have been patient with my long sermons, my outbursts and over the top statements. You have been merciful in not getting rid of me sooner and you have endured over the years with much longsuffering. Thank you for loving our family so much – we have truly felt it and experienced it. I remember when we went through the ordeal of Angela going through three consecutive miscarriages over less than two years and I really learned at that time what it meant to be ministered to by you. During some of the dark times where I was so overwhelmed with discouragement and despair, you patiently waited for me to recover and allowed me time to get away and heal. The elders have been more than gracious to support me and to take care of our family’s needs. God has truly blessed me with the most wonderful church family that would actually step out in faith and both support as well as for some to even partner in this church plant to San Jose. It is an amazing testimony of the Holy Spirit’s work, that there would actually be the willingness to act on the MVP. I hope and pray that God would sustain both the San Diego congregation and the fledgling San Jose church to shine the light of the gospel brightly to the glory of God. Praise God for His faithfulness and for bringing to fruition Ephesians 3:20-21. May we continue to build on what God has already done and look forward to what He will accomplish both in and through us to His praise and honor!

by Pastor JR Cuevas

Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.
~Joshua 1:9

As one might expect, the verses that mean most to me are those verses that strike the very core of my greatest struggles. The biblical texts over which I find myself journaling the longest in daily quiet times with the Lord are the passages that both expose my greatest weaknesses as well as inspire me to wage war against them. In all honestly, courage has never been the strongest asset for me. My walk with the Lord and attempt to run the race of faith has often been beset by a lack of confidence in Him and thus riddled with pessimism. Often have I found myself handcuffed in ministry – and in life in general – because I have often allowed my fears to control me. Though I have done much work on my part to fight it, in light of an up-coming church pland and an up-coming birth of our first child I had recently found myself again wallowing in pessimism. Too many transitions, too many unknowns. Simply put, my lack of trust in God mixed with a number of up-coming transitions has produced a not-so-encouraging attitude to those around me. Resolved I was to fix this, I decided to study the book of Joshua, for the Spirit of God has much to say to those who call themselves followers of God yet do not have confidence in Him.

I realize that far am I from being alone in this struggle. It’s everywhere. It exists in so many good people, and in so many good churches. Many Christians are simply afraid – afraid to lose their comfort, afraid to lose their security, afraid to lose their children, afraid to lose their families, afraid to lose the approval of peers, afraid to lose their lives. The more tragic part is that many have given into these fears. The responses along the lines of, “it’s too difficult,” and “it’s too dangerous” have been so prevalent amongst many whom the Lord has called to do do ministry, and their belief in these responses has prevented many from investing in the kingdom of God. Many would rather flee than fight – they’d rather run away than race. Safety and comfort are premiums in our society, while riskiness and agonizing labor are not.

I can only think that perhaps Joshua was tempted to flee as well, upon God’s commissioning him to lead the Israelites across the Jordan to possess the land that God had promised them. Their great leader – Moses – was dead, and God has chosen Joshua to mobilize the nation to participate in what would be perhaps the most significant battles of their history. A humble man in his own right, Joshua could not have possibly seen himself as the one who would be most fit for the task. And so the Lord commissioned him with these words in Joshua 1:9: “Be strong and courageous!” Anyone who reads Joshua slowly will find that this is a thematic command from the God to Joshua – to be strong and courageous upon faithfully running the course that God had set before him. And in the end, Joshua did what Moses was not able to do – lead the people across the Jordan to possess the land that God had promised them.

Learning from Joshua’s courage is not only inspiring; it is instructive. From him, we see that courage is not oblivious or ignorant over-confidence. Neither is it bravado nor boastful arrogance. Neither is it blind faith nor self-confidence. Rather, courage is the quality of pressing forward towards God and being faithful to His will in the midst of jeopardizing circumstances. It is not the lack of initial fear, but rather having the resolve to both face it and fight fear for the glory of God. Courage is that very virtue that undergirds faith. It is what strengthens the feet of a believer to take the step of faith. Talk to every great champion in any sport, and they’ll tell you that they’re not exempt from fear and pressure – especially if they persevere. But ask any of their competitors, and they’ll tell you that what makes those athletes champions is their unflinching resolve amidst the pressure. The same is true for Christian warriors. While the reality remains that Satan and the world are dangerous opponents, the courageous Christian does not flinch or flee before them. Rather, by the strength and knowledge of God, he valiantly proceeds and fights.

How does one then develop courage? It does not happen over night, but rather is developed over time. All who struggle with fear ought to be disciplined, then, both realization and resolution. Realization – the awareness that God will not forsake His children, nor will He fail them. Courage can never be separated from a knowledge of God – both objectively and subjectively. The most courageous people are those who are aware – aware of God’s power and God’s faithfulness to His people. Courage starts the realization of God’s ability to overcome any and all circumstances and opponents, and continues with the realization of God’s promise to fight for those whom He has chosen. After realization, then, comes resolution – the resolution to step forward and participate in the fight of faith. There is no “secret,” in this sense. One must simply believe, and do. It’s simple – hard, but simple. As I have continued reading through the book of Joshua, I have realized two recurring themes – God’s constant reminding of Joshua that He is with him, and Joshua’s direct obedience of all of God’s commands. May it be the same with me, you, and the church. Let us be aware of God, believe in God, and obey Him in running this rocky yet rewarding race of faith.

by Pastor Patrick Cho

As Pastor John mentioned, June 6 will be the official date of the transition where I will assume the role of senior pastor at Lighthouse. It’s a bit daunting especially since I can see today’s date and that date on one screen in my Outlook calendar! There is still a lot to do in preparation as well as a lot to think through, but we are confident that by God’s grace He will carry us through. Many people have been asking me how I feel about the transition since it is so imminent. Am I scared? Am I excited? I thought it would be easier simply to write down my thoughts and share them here.

First, am I scared? Honestly, I am not. There was one day, when John first mentioned that the transition would happen on June 6 and not July 11, that I was a little scared. That would give me one less month to prepare. But I was quickly reminded about the reasons why I wasn’t really scared about the July 11 date and that comforted me. John and I have seen God’s faithfulness over the past eleven years. God has carried us through some very significant trials and we have also experienced many joyful blessings. This is the major reason why I wasn’t really scared. I don’t believe God has brought us this far only to abandon us now. I’m confident that God will continue to carry us as He has carried us in the past (cf. Isa. 40:31).

Is the weight of responsibility daunting? Yes. Being an associate pastor was comfortable. If anything got really difficult, I could run to John. There are many people who require shepherding. There are many ministries that need planning. And besides this, Sunday is always coming, so there is always another sermon that needs preparing. The weight of responsibility is definitely increasing, but I am confident that the same Lord who strengthened John will strengthen me. The same God who led LBC in the past will continue to lead LBC to the future.

Second, am I excited? Absolutely! I’m excited about what God has in store for this church for the future. So far we have been able to build wonderful relationships with churches in the Czech Republic and Argentina. Where will God send us next? We have been able to see our church family grow almost every year. How much more will we grow? We have moved into a new facility. Will we ever outgrow this building? There is so much God can do through us if only we remain faithful to Him and His Word. I’m definitely excited about this.

Not only this, but also that we’ll have another church in San Jose to work with. We can collaborate together and encourage one another. We have a trusted ministry that we can help and go to for help. It took us about ten years to finally put wheels on the Vision of LBC and plant a church. Now with two churches actively working towards that goal, will we be able to plant a third church even sooner? The possibility is exciting.

I know it will be difficult. I don’t know exactly how difficult it will be, but I’m sure it will be extremely trying at times. But God has helped us in the past and has used the trying times to build us and mold us into the ministry we are now. I’m confident He will do the same in the future.

Third, people have been asking me what the plans are for the future. What will I preach through? How will the church’s ministries be structured? We will communicate most of these decisions at the members meeting on June 6. However, Pastor John reminded the elders of one thing that was crucial. The solution for the future is not merely going to lie in greater structure and order. While that is helpful, the more important thing is that our people are growing. If the church family is growing, our attitude towards ministry will be what it needs to be. We won’t have complaining hearts, but encouraging ones. We won’t have pessimistic attitudes, but faith-full ones. A growing body is the key to the future. Structure and organization are helpful and necessary, but not the most important thing.

How can the each church member help to make the transition smoother? Grow. If you are not finding joy in the Lord, if your heart seems distant, get back to the basics and cultivate a faithful heart once again. If your service has become dry and ministry is just going through the motions, remember the reason why you serve in the first place. There is no great mystery. It is about getting back to the basics – taking time to pray, meditating on the Word, and preaching the gospel to yourself daily. This is where God-honoring service stems from, not just from addressing areas of greatest need. Do you love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength? If not, pray and work to get your heart where it needs to be. That is the greatest help any member could offer the church during this time of transition.

I’m sure John and I will be sharing more of our thoughts as the weeks wind down. It is truly amazing to think the time is finally upon us. Let’s really seek to be faithful and usher in the transition with prayer. It will take a bit of sweat and effort, but I know that the Lord will be our strength, guide, and shield.

by Pastor John Kim

As a young child, the Bible passage that we would most hear often is Ephesians 6:1-3: 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

It is obvious that to obey and honor your parents is one of the primary priorities children have to bring glory to God. The dilemma starts to arise in how does one transition from being a child under the authority of parents to making decisions that are independent from parental oversight. For those who have grown up in an Asian environment, the concept of filial piety is something that is clearly a part of the culture. Obedience to parents is an uncontested rule and to question or disobey your parents would bring great shame and dishonor to the family. Even for those that would say they are Christians, this issue has brought tremendous challenges when there are significant decisions that need to be made.

I can think of two issues that are very much at the forefront when considering how to deal with parents.

The first would be that of one’s life purpose. From a very early age, a child might hear that their greatest priority is to study hard, go to a good college, get a good job so that you could have a successful and fulfilled life. On the surface there isn’t anything necessarily wrong with this. It is only when you dig a little deeper and examine the motivations and desires that are underlying this kind of mindset do you see what is at the heart. Some parents are so insistent on this path that every possible way of enhancing potential success is not only considered but often taken in multiplied ways. It is not uncommon to hear of young children being tutored while in elementary school, not because they are deficient in their understanding but to try and exceed past the average standards that are expected for that particular stage. Understanding that the elite colleges also give weight to extracurricular activities and achievements, there is tremendous pressure to not only participate in all manners of disciplines such as music, athletics, and academically related activities, but to excel at the highest levels. As the drive for success starts early, the first three decades of life are pretty much dictated by this focus and does not end until the fruits of the labors are actually materialized. This of course does not automatically happen for everyone and those who fail to reach the highest levels of success are then trapped within the consequences of the time, energy, finances, and sacrifices that all come with this. Even with success does not come the peace that one would assume will be there awaiting at the top of the mountain. In fact, success breeds continued expectations as well as the realization that there is always more to be attained. There is also the inevitable empty feeling of “What now?” when the highest levels of achievement have been reached. It is not as satisfying as one would think. Just consider the legions of celebrities, superstar athletes, politicians, and other significant figures that most would consider to have reached the pinnacle. Why is there still a lack of contentment?

This issue is compounded when you throw in the element of your commitment to Christ and how it is manifested through your involvement in the local church. This seems to especially be profound at our church in light of our church- planting plans for San Jose where a number of people on the team are facing incredible pressure from their parents, being questioned as to their very sanity as to how could someone make church a defining point for direction in their life. It seems absolutely ludicrous and crazy that someone would quit his or her job, relocate to a completely foreign area, and go all because of church. Even those who grew up in the San Jose area are facing opposition for their decisions when you would think that their families would welcome them back. It is very strange and odd to watch this take place.

The second issue would be that of one’s life partner. I can’t think of anything that has generated more trauma in a person’s life than to be in the position where your parents do not want you to date, get engaged, or be married to someone that they absolutely disapprove. Whether the parents are Christians or not, the emotional impact is so overwhelming that it almost feels like a hurricane that wreaks havoc not only in the lives of those who are directly involved, but there is collateral damage amongst even others who might get in the way. I have personally been threatened verbally and even physically by parents who are very upset that I would not intervene on their behalf. I have seen and heard shocking things from adults who would otherwise seem to be dignified and respectable people. Whether they are Christian or not, the defining principle that seems to be unassailable is that of honoring and obeying the will of the parents. If an individual chooses not to follow what the parents desire, there are often threats, ultimatums, and some have gone as far as to cut off all ties with their children. It is sad and heartbreaking to see take place, but it continues to happen to the sorrow of many.

So what is the answer to these problems? I can only say that there are no simple quick fix solutions but there are foundations truths that really need to underlie HOW one would respond to both situations so that while you are honoring your parents, it will not come at the cost of compromising the glory of God.

Principle #1 – Start with the glory of God

Romans 11:36
36 For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.

While honoring parents is an important truth in life, glorifying God must be the highest priority. This is not to say it is always so easy to apply – it takes prayerful consideration and effort to place God at the center of the whole process of gauging the heart for motives and the mind for the decision making process. The glory of God must be considered at the start and the finish as well as throughout the process of working through issues. This doesn’t guarantee that things will work out neat and clean but it does provide the proper foundation and perspective that will carry you through the process. We cannot afford to be Machiavellian in our strategy where the end justifies the means. The means are to be just as centered on the glory of God as the end is that God would receive the glory.

At a practical level we need to ask the question if we fear God or fear man through how we face challenges. Put another way, do we seek the approval of God or the approval of man? Do we find the expedient way preferable because we can avoid the hassle and trouble or are we willing to persevere through the trials so that God’s name might be magnified? This is an honest struggle for most people and while it at times could seem a bit theoretical, the ramifications are profound. The more we seek to please man, the easier we will find it to please man and what will be compromised is the glory of God. In seeking the glory of God, it does not necessarily mean we are trying to make things difficult in our human relationships, but it does mean that we are going to submit all things first and foremost to the Lordship of Christ and to see if we are truly following Christ in our heart motivation and attitude in how we conduct ourselves, even if it might incur the wrath of our parents. Our goal is not to incite conflict but to really make worshipping God the central premise to all of life.

Principle #2 – Process Biblically

2 Timothy 3:16-17
16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.

If we truly believe that God’s Word is sufficient, then the authority of Scripture must show itself in this fourfold application. Is the Word of God the basis for the teaching which I follow? Does it provide the foundation for how it reproves my attitude and actions? Do I follow it in terms of how it would correct me in bringing me back to the right path that honors God? Does it provide the parameters for how I will train and discipline my life toward godliness? If the Word of God does its work of conviction and transformation, then I will be able to discern the will of God as Romans 12:2 promises and it will mature me to be sufficiently equipped to do every good work, even in the midst of difficult circumstances.

Psalm 19:7-11 describes the Word of God in terms that show a clear effect on our lives. We can trust the character of God’s Word because it is perfect, sure, right, pure, clean, enduring forever, true, and righteous. As a result, it revives the soul, makes wise the simple, rejoices the heart, enlightens the eyes, provides warning, and finally there is great reward. If we really desire and treasure God’s Word, it will keep us from sin (Psalm 119:11) and it will direct our paths like a lamp to our feet when we try to navigate the sensitive and often arduous trails of working out things with our parents.

But if we instead lean on worldly wisdom and pragmatic thinking, we might pursue superficial appeasement to stem off the emotional attacks but in the long term it will breed resentment and bitterness. It is something that is confirmed over and over again when I consider the many people I have had a chance to counsel and observe in facing these issues. You might choose the immediate solution of pleasing your parents so as to avoid dealing with their anger but it never addresses the heart of the problems. Trusting God is definitely not an easy thing to do but as Proverbs 3:5-6 states, there is a great promise that comes when we trust the Lord with all our hearts – He will direct our paths when we acknowledge Him in all our ways.

There seems to be a very strong correlation to how healthy someone’s interaction with the Word of God is and their overall spiritual health. This has profound impact on how you will respond to difficult situations as the Word of God is the instrument through which the Holy Spirit, the Counselor, the Comforter, helps guide and direct us in providing wisdom and discernment in how to tread the delicate path of glorifying God while at the same time trying to honor our parents. It is not only possible but it is doable as we have the promises of God to lead the way.

While every situation that you go through in dealing with your parents might not be mentioned specifically in Scripture, there are principles which help build the foundations for a God-centered worldview that ultimately will guide you in making decisions that will be consistent in bringing God glory and in magnifying Christ. Often times it will be very much in contradiction to the status quo ways of the world and you must anticipate that the world and even at times those who say they are Christians will not agree with you and sometimes will even get very angry with how you might respond. But there is a comfort and strength that comes when convictions are centered around the glory of God and His righteousness and you will not ever regret choosing the narrow path that is laid down by the Word of God.

Principle #3 – Walk in the Spirit

Galatians 5:16-26
16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

As believers, it is impossible to truly live to the glory of God apart from the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. It really is an effort in futility to try and resolve conflicts with our parents when we are attempting to do so in our own power and wisdom. Just as we cannot use worldly wisdom, we also cannot afford to use human ability or power but instead we must be filled with the Spirit so that we may walk by the Spirit in order to manifest the fruit of the Spirit in our lives from our hearts. Filial piety is often times only skin deep because the heart is not necessarily genuine behind the external behavior. There must be a true honoring and respecting of parents that comes from a heart that is driven by the Holy Spirit to love and respond with grace and kindness, even in situations that are difficult.

Principle #4 – Magnify Christ

2 Corinthians 5:14-15
14 For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; 15 and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

Often times parents will use the “guilt” card and try to remind us of all the hard work and sacrifices that they endured so as to provide a better life for us. This is not to say that we should not be thankful for all that our parents have done. Indeed we should be grateful and even show our gratitude in tangible ways. But we must remember that there is someone who gave the greatest sacrifice of all – His very death on the cross and if there is any motivation that we should have, it should be out of the love we have for the one who loved us first. To love Christ demands my all, my heart, my soul, the entirety of my being. That’s why at times there is a test of loyalty that challenges us to the point where there is the possibility of being cut off by parents and family. This is never something to be taken lightly or conceded easily but at the same time we need to really ask if Jesus Christ does have the greatest authority over our lives as Lord or are we subtly trying to avoid that by even appealing to Scriptures that say we need to honor our parents so that we can avoid conflict. I would never treat this kind of situation flippantly but it would need to be done prayerfully but there will come a time when you will have to choose between Christ’s authority and your parents because they will not match in seeking first God’s kingdom and God’s righteousness. Remember the promise that Christ gave that He would always be with us (Matthew 28:20). Remember that He will be faithful not only to carry us, but to provide for us all that we need, even the loss of family. This is not to say that it will always be the case that family ties are lost. In fact, it is usually rare for someone to be completely disowned. But even the threat of it can weigh heavy on a person’s heart so we need to remember that we can’t afford to let threats dislodge the Lordship of Christ being the supreme authority over every aspect of our lives, even our education and our future marriage.

There’s always a lot more to say but hopefully this will be starting point for people to consider how they can interact with their parents to God’s glory.

by Pastor JR Cuevas

James 5:16
The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.

It’s never a surprise when I find myself having to persevere through much hardship, both internally and externally. A fellow pastor once said, “Anytime you choose to live a godly life, there will be resistance.” The reality of spiritual warfare has never come down upon me so heavily as it has in the past year. As I came back a month of being away from church, hoping that things would be better, I found that the enemy had only intensified his attacks on my life and in the lives of others. Internally, I began to struggle with depression, anxiety, and impatience. Externally, I realized that no amount of rest could properly gear me to face the opposition of those who persecuted me. But that was solely the turmoil taking place in my life. Need I forget that a same type of war was taking place in the lives of all of those around me. As I found myself struggling in my battling of my own fleshy lusts and Satan’s attacks on me personally, I realized that those around me were struggling in very much the same way. Not only was I burdened with my trials, but I began to be burdened with the trials of others whom I genuinely loved and cared for. And then there was a greater reality that I faced – the reality that I was not qualified to take upon the battle in terms of my own strength, endurance, and wisdom. I was confronted with so many situations that I knew I was incapable of handling. In my own pride and anxiety, I wanted to solve them quickly, but soberly I realized that I simply could not. I began to ask myself why God would place me in such situations where I felt so helpless and on the brink of quitting. In the midst of the most difficult time of my life, why did He allow for the lives of all those around me to be difficult as well? Desprate but drowning, I abandoned all other methods and resorted to the very first thing I did as a follower of Christ: I prayed. I prayed again the day after, and the day after that. It was then that it dawned on me why God has purposely made me so helpless; it was so that instead of pridefully relying on myself to solve my problems and the problems of others, I would instead approach him boldly, joyfully, confidently, reverently, and regularly in prayer.

It is not only an understatement that prayer is an underrated and misunderstood discipline in the Christian life; it is simply unfortunate. So many go to prayer as the last resort – when things are not working. In my life at least, the tendency had always been to try and solve the problem first with all of the wisdom and might that I had, and then to pray if things still went wrong after all of my methods were exhausted. Though I tried to pray without ceasing, or at least adopt an attitude of prayer, I quickly realized that prayer had been designated to a mere formality – one that I did in order to legalistically prove myself a disciplined man of God. Deep down in my heart, I still believed that I was capable of solving problem on my own, though I prayed for the sake of integrity. I didn’t pray out of joy, nor did I pray out of humility. Oh how unfortunate I am, and how unfortunate many are who neglect prayer, for prayer is not only necessary in the Christian life; it is the primary discipline in the Christian life. A man who seeks God’s own heart is synonymous to a man who prays.

Oh how we must pray, for it indicates the presence of the humility that God so desires in His children. How a lack of prayer is a fiery display of pride. How dare one think that he can handle all spiritual circumstances and pursue all godliness without the help of God? How dare one think that in himself, he is capable of enduring anything apart from Christ to do good works. How dare one believe that his wisdom, he is capable of solving any problem of himself and others without the Spirit’s illumination of his mind. It is both proud and foolish for one to even dare think that He can survive for a second apart from the pesence and power of God. And it is even more foolish and prideful to, from the same mindset, attempt to help others. Oh how God places us in circumstances in which we soberly comprehend our weakness so that we can petition for Him. My friend, spiritual regeneration and sanctification are miracles; only God can perform them. Blessed is the man who asks God to perform these things in himself and in people, for it indicates a humility of mind. Oh how God is absolutely glorified when one relies on His power instead of anything else’s to expand His kingdom.

As Christians, we must realize that our primary responsibility to others is not to counsel, nor is it to encourage, nor is it to admonish, nor is it to serve. As Christians, our primary ministry to others is to pray for them. As a pastor, I could one day be called away from pastoral ministry, and thus would no longer be called to preach, teach, shepherd, or counsel. But as a Christian, I will never be called away from the responsibility to pray for those whom I love. In the same way that every human being must eat to stay alive physically, every Christian must pray to stay alive spiritually. The greatest ministry that one could do for his fellow brethren who are struggling is to fervently ask God for help. It follows that it is unloving to, when burdened with the struggles of others, attempt to handle it himself without asking God. Brother, do not deny those whom you love the power of God. His power is mightier than yours, His wisdom greater than yours. Discipline yourself to rely on God, and not on your own strength, to sustain others. Disciple yourself to rely on God, and not on your own wisdom, to counsel others. He is greater than you; let His glory be displayed. There are many good things that one can do for another. But the best thing he can do is pray.

Realize the privilege of prayer; oh how much joy you will receive when you realize that God loves to answer good prayers. If evil men know how to give good gifts to their children, how much more willing will God be to send His Holy Spirit to those who ask? Therefore, ask! He saved you for that purpose – He saved you so that you could pray to Him. He hears you, and He delights in answering your prayers that glorify Him. Pray, my friend. Pray! Do it delightfully; do it unceasingly. For the effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.

by Pastor Patrick Cho

I attended my first Shepherds’ Conference in 2001 during my first year in seminary. It was a big deal for me because although I knew there were some big time speakers coming to the conference, I wasn’t very familiar with any of them. I wasn’t well read and I didn’t listen to very many sermons online or on CD. As a result, that first conference blew me away. I remember walking away thinking I wanted to learn how to preach the Word like those men did. I learned so much and felt like the weekend caused me to grow leaps and bounds. I have returned to the conference each year since then and each year it seems as though it gets better and better. The speakers always faithfully preach God’s Word in a way that is captivating, instructive, and convicting. Each year I have learned things that I never knew before.

In recent years, many of the collegians and singles at church have been attending the Resolved Conference, which is also put on by Grace Community Church. Unfortunately, I haven’t had an opportunity to go, but I have wanted to since the first year they held the conference. They always invite the best speakers and have incredible themes. Each year, the collegians and singles return from the conference speaking about how much they learned and grew.

I love these conferences and believe they are super helpful in regards to encouraging believers in the faith. The Shepherds’ Conference is arguably one of the most helpful ministries for men in pastoral ministry. It is always a great encouragement and the instruction is invaluable. But as awesome as these conferences are, they fall short in providing what believers gain each week from the fellowship of the church.

Imagine you’re at a conference sitting in the seats listening to the great speakers exposit God’s Word. You’re there along with hundreds and even thousands of others all listening to the same messages. As the speaker delivers his sermon, you are learning and are engaged in everything he is saying. And that’s about where it ends. You may enjoy a couple great conversations with other attendees during meals, but essentially you’re there to benefit personally from the messages and seminars.

At church, it isn’t supposed to be that way. We don’t come to church only for personal benefit. In Ephesians 4:11-12, Paul writes that God has given gifted men to the church to preach His Word and to equip the saints. Certainly at conferences there is a great deal of beneficial equipping going on. But Paul continues that this equipping is given to the church so each saint may be given the instruction that is needed for the work of ministry. That word “ministry” comes from the same Greek word for “deacon” or “servant.” In church, the preaching of the Word of God is given so that saints might be built up individually, but this is for the purpose that each of those saints might be a blessing to one another corporately. It doesn’t work when you try to bring a conference mentality into the church. Church wasn’t designed by God that way.

Paul continues to explain that when each saint is engaged in this work of service, which comes as a result of the faithful teaching of God’s Word, the church gets built up together and spiritual growth takes place. What’s interesting, though, is that while I’m sure Paul is concerned about each person’s individual growth, his focus is more on the growth of the entire body corporately. Paul’s answer to the question “How do you know you are growing?” depends upon the amount of ministry is going on in the body of the church. Each member might be equipped, but growth doesn’t occur until each member employs what they have been trained up in for the work of ministry. Until this happens, the church doesn’t grow.

We need to be careful about bringing a conference mentality into the church. What does this look like? You might hear people complain that they aren’t growing because they aren’t learning anything new. They aren’t getting the “wow” factor from the messages they hear. They might even talk about how they grow so much more when they listen to conference speakers. But I think they’re missing the point. Paul’s response would seem to be that if you want to grow, part of that growth depends on the ministry you give to others. Church wasn’t meant to be a conference. It isn’t just about what you are learning and how you are benefitting. It is also about how you are serving and being a benefit to others.

Until you understand that you need to be investing in others, serving others, and helping others, you are stunting the growth of the rest of the church. You are hindering everyone from reaching greater maturity (Eph 4:13). Ironically as you complain about a lack of growth, you are stunting growth in the church. Paul writes that we are to grow up into Christ (Eph 4:15), but that growth is only achieved when each part is working properly (Eph 4:16). This isn’t to say that individual growth is unimportant. It is vitally important. It is just to point out that if individual growth is all you are concerned about, you’re missing the point. You should also be greatly concerned with how the body is growing as a whole.

I don’t think it is a coincidence that people who tell the pastors that they are not growing oftentimes are the same ones who aren’t doing much in church. They come on Sundays but they aren’t involved in the work of ministry. They conclude that what they need is more instruction, but Paul’s point in Ephesians 4 is that the instruction is a means to an end. It is not the end in itself.

I’m all for attending conferences. I think they can provide a wonderful boost even to the ministry of the church because people are equipped to return and further serve the body. But let us guard against treating learning like it is an end in itself. It is helpful. It is necessary. But it was meant to lead to greater ministry, which in turn leads to greater growth. So, the obvious question is, “How are you growing?” If your answer is only that you are learning new things, I would argue that you need to go further. Think about how you can serve and contribute to the work of ministry. Until each member does this, we will never grow into the stature of the fullness of Christ.

by Pastor John Kim

As we have been addressing the issue of dating relationships yet again for the third time in LBC history, I would like to share a few thoughts that I hope will be both encouraging and challenging to those who would be single and wrestling with the various aspects of dating as well as those older married folks who could hopefully fulfill the mentoring and discipling roles that would provide the kind of support that those who are going through what is often a stressful, even torturous period of life that is filled with uncertainties and hardships that are forgotten once married.

There are three significant foundational points that I have addressed in the first two meetings that have taken place. I have shared other things as well but these are three that I would like to highlight.

1. The Glory of God in Dating

Romans 11:36
For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.

The glory of God must be the chief end in the life of the believer and so it stands that the chief end of dating should be the glory of God as well. The fundamental problem that I think plagues many Christians in the issue of dating is that God’s glory is relegated to the sidelines and my own glory is put at the forefront. We are more concerned about ourselves, about having our desires fulfilled, our expectations met or exceeded, and the pursuit of my happiness is still considered an inalienable right that supersedes God’s glory. For the Christian that desires to fulfill 1 Corinthians 10:31, that in whatever we do, even in our eating and drinking, and yes, even in our dating, the glory of God must remain front and center in every aspect.

I think that the whole dynamic of dating exposes many Christian men and women in the superficiality of their commitment to seeing God glorified. While it is very understandable that a lot is at stake, potential marriage being the greatest possibility, it would seem to be clear that there should be nothing that escapes this mandate. But why is this most basic and fundamental tenet set aside?

Romans 11:36 helps provide some additional thoughts that I hope will be helpful for all to consider. When we recognize that all things are from God, that all things are only possible through God, and that all things are to ultimately point to God, it leaves nothing to ourselves in terms of receiving glory. We are to acknowledge that God is the source of all things, that God provides the enablement and empowerment for all things, and that He is the ultimate goal in all that we do. Every part of the process from beginning to end in our lives is accounted for in this verse.

Our problem is that we struggle with handing over the reins for the whole deal. We want a say in every aspect, even to the point where we would make demands of God that are more self-serving rather than God-glorifying. We forget that it is by grace that we receive anything and so all that is from God is a gift, even the gift of singleness. We forget that it is by the divine enablement of the Holy Spirit through the counsel of the Scriptures that we are given the tools to live out our lives to His glory. We forget that the chief end truly is God’s glory and we set ourselves up instead to be the chief end in receiving the attention that we so desperately desire. So it is no surprise that we fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) and are caught in the throes of sinful attitudes, sinful thoughts, sinful motivations, and ultimately sinful behavior that really mimics the world through its conformity rather than showing a life transformed by the cross.

That leads the to second foundational point:

2. Gospel-Centered Dating

The cross of Christ should be at the heart and soul of how we live the Christian life. The cross not only justifies us but the cross also should sanctify us in that we live in light of the finished work of Christ and the righteousness that was secured and imputed to us. To live in light of Christ and Him crucified is not something that happens passively. It is a deliberate choice that then sets the reference point for how we are to engage in every arena of life, including dating.

Do your dating relationships celebrate the cross of Christ? It would be tough to say so if you are indulging in sexual immorality. Does knowing Christ and the fact that His grace has saved you from your condemned state before God make a difference then how you are to uphold separation from an unbelieving partner? Does the forgiveness that comes through the redemption found in our Savior provide the basis for how you handle conflicts regarding relationships? It is strange that for so many Christian, the cross of Christ seems to become nothing more than jewelry instead of the defining point for how we live from day to day.

I would like to challenge each individual, whether you are dating or not, whether the cross is truly central to your life on a daily basis. Or have you setup another idol that would affect your outlook toward life, namely even the concept of dating, or the absence of it? If you live in light of Christ’s death and resurrection and consider it of first importance as 1 Corinthians 15 describes, that it will provide a whole different outlook toward life and I believe it will definitely affect your outlook toward dating.

3. The Richly Indwelling Word of God

Colossians 3:16-17
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

God’s Word needs to be more than just a visiting neighbor in our daily lives. The Scriptures need to take residence and permeate our entire being so that we would be equipped to do all things, every word and deed in the name of our Savior. Then we truly can give thanks because we will then be doing exactly what Romans 12:1-2 calls us to do, to present our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and acceptable to God. We show that we are not conformed to worldly philosophies and human wisdom but instead having been transformed by the renewing ministry of the Word of God, we will be able to discern what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable, and perfect. This is crucial for all aspects of life but all the more crucial for dealing with the issue of dating.

Too many people claim that the Bible has nothing to directly say about dating but that is to reveal utter foolishness and ignorance. The Bible has everything to say about dating because it deals with the heart issues to our conduct that takes place in the dating realm. That’s why to hear, read, study, memorize, and meditate on God’s Word is a non-negotiable practice if we are to not only glorify God in our lives, but even in how we are going to teach and admonish one another in the issue of dating.

There are so many instances when I have heard of the kind of counsel that people give in regards to dating and it really is nothing more than earthly wisdom. There is nothing about the glory of God being at stake. It reflects nothing of the gospel of Christ and in the end it reveals a lack of Biblical foundation and substance. This is tragic, that the people of God would forsake the Word of God in the time that it is needed most. The wild and crazy ride of the dating rollercoaster can only be tamed by the sure and sufficient Word of God that will provide the solid foundation as well as even the practical wisdom that is needed. So immerse yourself in the Word. Failure to do so will lead to failures that you will regret. But to meditate on the law of the Lord will lead you to be like that tree fimrly planted by streams of water (Psalm 1). You’ll never regret living according to God’s Word.

Well just a few thoughts for now. More to come on April 11 and 18 at 6pm at the church. We’ll be looking forward to looking at what men and women should be to become marriageable and we will also take a long hard look at the issue of purity. So come out, invite your friends, even your unbelieving friends, and let’s tackle this issue and trust that God will accomplish great things in your lives!